Depinned: Why #Flawless Creates Flaws

Flawless.

It’s everywhere.  

 Between Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest,
I can’t get away from these phrases:

| Girl- you’re flawless. | I woke up like this. #flawless | 

| You’re so pretty. You’re perf! |

There are over 6 million hashtags on Instagram for flawless. Over 2 million for perf. Over 35 million for perfection.

So, for week two of Pinterest De-pinned, we're looking at Flawless.

I'm not even starting on the whole concept that “God is the only flawless and perfect being in existence,” because that's longer than a blog. So let’s look at the practicality of what this compliment actually does to a woman.

So let’s say someone comments on an Insta pic of mine: Flawless!

Here’s what that does to me:

          1) makes me smile. 

AND then helps me think a literally impossible standard of beauty is actually achievable. #doomedforfailure

          2) makes me look at my picture again.

AND then causes me to scrutinize it for the 37^th time. Which leads to either an arrogant view of myself, or, the more probable version, leads me to raise my standards for myself and the future pics that I will post. If people think I’m that pretty… that means future pictures must measure up.

#mustkeepup

          3) makes me remember what the picture looked like without the filter. 

AND then Am I as pretty without the filter? Maybe… Who am I kidding? No. Look at my skin tones. My zits. My big nose. I wonder if I’ll ever like a natural (no filter) picture of myself again. #notflawlessbutdon’ttell

Here’s what it does to the friend:

          1) she’s so beautiful! #idon’tlooklikethat

          2) I’ll never look like that! #whyherandnotme? 

          3) If only I my _________ was smaller. #flawed

          4) Girl- you’re so #perf. #jealous

And the random girl reading the comments:

         1) She has a ton of likes! #i’veneverhadsomany

2) I don’t know if I’d call her flawless…. Her nose is a little small. Her eyes a little big. (Criticism begins….most likely a defense mechanism to keep herself from feeling horrible about herself and her appearance.) #she’sprettynotbeautiful

OR

2)  Yeah, I mean look at her. She is gorgeous. I’ll never have those eyes or that nose. #somegirlshaveitall

3) I’ll comment too-  “tbh we don’t know each other but you’re perf!” #jealous

So to summarize #flawless creates:

For the girl: #doomedforfailure #mustkeepup #notflawlessbutdon’ttell

For the friend: #idon’tlooklikethat #whyherandnotme? #flawed #jealous

For the reader:  #i’veneverhadsomany  #she’sprettynotbeautiful  #somegirlshaveitall #jealous

So #flawless creates all sorts of self-doubts and scrutiny into our flaws. Hmmm....

Question: Can we go back to the reality that each of us has flaws?  No one is physically perfect without Photoshop, and even then that’s subjective.  To continually tell each other that we are flawless is only pitting us against a standard that we will always lose to. 

I’m not saying don’t compliment! I’m saying compliment in a way that doesn’t create or add to pre-existing notions of perfectionism or the idol of beauty in so many of our girls’, even our own lives.

True beauty is real. It’s walked through the difficulties of day to day living and rises the next morning to do it again. True beauty involves a character that is loving and an integrity that is spotless. True beauty brings laughter and love to lonely hearts.  True beauty doesn’t have so much to do with the size of the eyes as the size of the heart. True beauty is my Savior’s love flowing through me.

Women and girls: May we learn to compliment sincerely.  Love without jealousy. And look without coveting.

#celebratedifferences #acceptflaws #commendtruebeauty

What do you think? Has #flawless ever created more hurt or more awareness to flaws with you?