Monday’s Musings: Cinderella and Dating

I grew up watching Disney Princesses like most of the American girl population. And I fell in love with the stories like every other girl. For various (random!) reasons, Disney Princesses have been on my mind.

While thinking about Disney in the background, I’ve also been having conversations with junior high and high school girls the past couple of weeks (well, years actually) about boys and dating… and my brain started combining the two.

So, here are 5 Dating tips from Cinderella…. Sorry, no, there’s no reason to talk or sing to birds on the list. They actually don’t talk back… disheartening, I know.

 1.  Take the risk- even if you’re alone.

Let’s think about this- Cinderella had been a servant girl all of her adult life, she had no clue how to act at a ball, let alone dance. But- when the opportunity, risk was presented, she gathered the courage and went. Alone. Without a date. She was willing to dance alone.

Don’t sit on the sidelines of your life waiting for a prince before you will take a risk.  God has told you, “I will never leave you; I will never forsake you.” You have your ultimate protector with you. Take the risk. Go to the dance. Move away to college. Accept the surprise job offer. Pursue your dream career. Follow God’s leading and walk in faith with Emmanuel, “God with us…. God with you.” He’s with you. The risk is when you don’t follow Him.

 2. Follow the rules- the clock will strike 12!

We all know the story- Cinderella was changed back to servant girl rags when the clock struck 12. So, Cinderella stuck to the agreement and left the ball when she was supposed to…. now granted she had incentive, what girl wants to be at a gorgeous ball and suddenly be in an old raggedy out of style dress? However, it still took incredible self-discipline. She was in a killer ball gown, she was in a castle, and she was dancing with the Prince!! Yet, she left. When she was supposed to leave.

She decided to abide by the rules before she ever even went to the party. Because she held true to her decision, we have the story of Cinderella.  The Prince, although initially confused, also clearly knew he was dealing with a girl that held to her commitments. He respected her for that. He pursued her in fact.

 Self-discipline is extremely difficult but extremely necessary for a godly relationship. It takes self-discipline to honor commitments when a seemingly better offer comes along, and it takes self-discipline to stay pure.

But the decision must be made before you get to the “ball”. Make the decision before you start dating the boy. Make the decision before you get invited to the party. Make the decision before you ________.  What decision? The decision to have self- discipline. To follow the rules. To obey your parents. To obey God.

Let your decisions cause your prince, your date, and your friends to respect you. Hold to your commitments.

 3. He pursued. She waited.

When Cinderella left the ball, she went home. And the next day, she did not run straight back to the castle yelling “Yo Prince! Over here! It’s me! I’m the girl you danced with last night! When’s our next ball???”

She went home and waited. She let him pursue. It probably took him longer than she would have liked. I’m sure her mind was not on the floor she scrubbed the next morning. I’m guessing it was somewhere back at the castle. But she let him take the lead, and did he ever!

One of the sweetest things my husband ever did for me while we dated was how he pursued me. I never had to take the lead. He was already one step ahead. Girls, you deserve to be pursued. Wait for the man who does. Cinderella and I promise it’s worth it.

4. Serve. With a smile.

 Why? Because you never know who will walk in and propose in the process!!! The prince found Cinderella in her home. Granted she was locked away in the tower, but she was back in her servant rags. And she had gotten up that morning and served.

Godly men will admire you for your service. This is not saying serve at your church or school to get a guy- (remember, motives are as important as actions!!) But… it is important to serve, and sometimes, just sometimes, the blessing will come during the moment of service.

My best friend in high school served faithfully in her church’s children’s ministry during high school and college. She met her now husband at church. If you were to ask him what first drew him to her? He would say: “Her service. I knew she was a godly woman by how she served.”

Always be willing to serve.

5. Have standards- not specifics.

When Cinderella went to the Prince’s Ball, she certainly didn’t know she was going to end up marrying the Prince! What a dream come true! But what if the story ended with Cinderella turning Prince Charming down because he wasn’t tall enough. Or he didn’t have the right hair color. Or maybe she didn’t want to marry a guy who was royalty. Maybe she preferred a country boy. Or a musician. Or maybe an inventor.

How crazy does that sound? The idea that Cinderella would turn down a prince because she wanted a lumberjack instead?!?!

Yet, I see girls do it every single week. We refuse a date with a godly, awesome guy simply because he doesn’t fit our specifics. He fits our standards perfectly, but not our specifics.

What’s the difference?

Standards are character qualities such as: giving, loving, kind-hearted, slow to anger, funny, respectful, etc.

Specifics are: Musician, blonde hair, 6 feet 2 inches, 152 freckles, size 11 feet, ability to ride a horse, Policeman, etc…

Girls, let’s be honest, we like to exchange the two. We put our specifics as our standards…. And in the process turn down a potential Prince Charming.

 

Make sure the standards are not your specifics. Because when the real standards line up, you don’t have to worry about specifics. Your Prince Charming will be there. And he will sweep you off your feet.