Perspectives.

Perspectives.

That word has been hounding my thoughts. I’ve heard it sung about on the radio. I’ve heard it dialogued about by friends. I’ve seen it pushed by commercials.  Perspectives define life as we know it. My perspective filters every single word, thought, action, and movement.

Several months back at a high school basketball game, all these dots began to connect. You see, I was, along with everyone else, cheering on the players and my team. And as all fans do, when the ref made a ridiculously absurd call, there I was yelling “Oh come on!!!” at the man in the striped shirt.

And then the flashback occurred.

You see, I had been in that man’s exact shoes a lifetime ago… I had the lived the horrifying tragedy of being a soccer referee for 4 miserably long years. I heard those exact words “Oh come on!!!” hurled at me more times than I can count. And each time made me cringe. Yet, here I was years later, doing the same thing to another poor soul. Immediate remorse ensued. In my head I started pouring compliments and apologies on the striped-shirt man. I was trying to penance my way out of the guilt.

In those moments, the irony of perspectives started to swirl in my head. For not only had I been a soccer ref, but I had also been a soccer player and a soccer spectator. I well remember the differences between the three perspectives. As the player, you see the action the closest, which at times is helpful but it’s always biased. You know when the ball was technically out of bounds, but rarely do you ever feel the need to be honest enough to tell the ref. 

Meanwhile, the spectator has an overall view of the whole field that the player never sees- the spectator feels the rise and fall of the game. They too suffer from bias however… their loyalty to their own side must come first.

The referee seemingly has the best view- he runs the whole field yet isn’t directly engaged in the play, so he has a much clearer understanding than the players. Yet, we expect the referee to see things perfectly on the field when there are 22 players swirling around him with voices shouting and balls flying. Perfection is not only improbable, it’s impossible.

In life, it seems as though we constantly rotate from being a player in a situation, to being a spectator of a friend’s life, to being asked to be a referee, whether with children, fighting friends, or giving unbiased advice.  Our reaction to each situation depends on our perspective or role that we hold in each.

When I was 14, I couldn’t understand why my parents would say I couldn’t date until I was 16… not that it mattered. No boys asked anyways, but that’s a different therapy blog post. Now as a spectator to other parents with 14 year old daughters, I totally understand their perspective. What a difference 10+ years makes!

When I’m watching my friends’ life fall apart, my perspective allows me to see more options than hers because it’s not my “game”. When I’m breaking up a fight between my friends’, what I call as out of line will be different than what they agree with.

I’m realizing, perspectives between people will never be identical.

Yet how much I want them to be.

I get frustrated with my coworker for having a different approach to a situation. I get annoyed when my husband doesn't agree 1,000% with my arguments. I think store policies are idiotic when I don’t get to exchange something on my own terms. I can spot 122 ways the mom is exhibiting poor parenting with the screaming child in Walmart. I think my parents are living in the Stone Age when they decide to keep their old phones instead of upgrading to the newest model. I think my friend is crazy for hanging out with that group of kids from school. I think my Sunday school teacher is fanatical when he challenged us to share our faith to our neighbors. I think my teacher is way too hard when she doesn’t let me make-up my make-up homework.

Life is so much easier… simpler… better when we all agree.  when everyone else agrees with me. with my perspective.

Life is so much better when everyone else agrees with my perspective.

That’s what I would never admit but often believe.

But I’m learning to change that.  A little bit every day.

A different perspective has opened my eyes to so much…

Beauty in areas I’ve never noticed before.

Laughter with people I’d never been friends with before.

Confidence in abilities I didn’t trust in before.

Characteristics in family I hadn’t appreciated before.

Ideas I’d never considered before.

Changes I wouldn’t have made before.

A whole way of life that I wouldn’t have experienced before…