Shocked.

I had plans of filling you with hilarious tales of new puppy stories.  Yes, Aaron and I have adopted a puppy.  She’s a Maltipoo (Maltese and poodle mix) that we named Oreo.  She ranges from being the sweetest thing ever to the most mischievous thing ever… all within a 5 second period.

  

So, I’m sorry to say, that today’s blog won’t be about new puppy parenting stories because I’ve been researching and preparing for my first fall Bible study with my SSM girls.  The statistics that I’ve read and stories that I’ve come across have left me shocked, heartbroken, and burdened.  Now that I have a better grasp on what’s going on, I can’t help but share the truth and try to rescue girls from more of the lies of this world.  So today’s blog is dedicated to that purpose. 

Please know that after this sentence, the topic is not suitable for children, and should be read with caution.

So what have I been researching? Sex. And everything that goes with it. 

30% of 9^th grade girls are sexually active.

40% of 10^th grade girls are sexually active.

50% of 11^th grade girls are sexually active.

65% of 12^th grade girls are sexually active.

Would you re-read that? Would you not let that just go in your eyes and out your ears?

Students reading this- think of 10 of your friends….

That means by your senior year, over 6 of them will be having sex. 6 OUT OF 10. 

Moms reading this- think of 10 of your daughters’ friends….

By her senior year, over 6 of them will be having SEX.

So if you’ve been thinking that you are safe or your daughter isn’t active, that might be true… but her circle of friends will not all be above the norm. 6 out of 10 of her peers are most likely living out the OPPOSITE standard of what you are hopefully teaching her about saving herself and her virginity for her future husband.

We have to start realizing how strong this pressure is, and we must start equipping girls with the weapons they need to stand strong in the face of it!  John 8:32 tells us “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  One of the biggest defenses involves learning to distinguish the truth from the lies.

But maybe- before we go any farther- you are part of that statistic. Maybe you are one of those girls who is sexually active in her senior year, junior year, sophomore year, or freshman year.

How I would love to talk with you-

Not to condemn you; not to mock you; not to scorn you; not to berate you.  Simply to talk to you. To share with you a beautiful option for a different and better way to feel loved…. to have fun…. to feel accepted…. to feel desired…. to feel complete…. to feel valued.

With compassion and sincerity, I would explain:

"Sex is not what you are after. Yes, it might make you feel loved; valued; desirable; or independent in certain moments, but after the act is over and the boy has left the bed, can you honestly tell me those feelings stay? Can you look me in the eye and tell me that the emptiness you possibly felt while a virgin has never returned to haunt you?  Was the desperate longing to be accepted, desired, or pursued forever eradicated when you gave up your body?”

And I know without seeing your face, without hearing your voice, without even knowing your identity, that the answer is no. When you are being completely honest… no, sex did not fulfill you like you wanted it to. And neither has the guy that you are involved with.

How do I know?

Because I’ve met an alternative version of you. I’ve cried with another one of you. I’ve counseled an older version of you. I’ve prayed with a younger version of you. 
And each of you have always said in the brutality of an honest moment, the answer is no.

But there is someone who can give you what sex cannot: life-long, passionate, unconditional, unwavering, beautiful, pursuing love.  His name is Jesus and I’ve seen Him take and transform heart-broken lives into overflowing joys.

But you may not want to hear that. Well then let me encourage you from a practical standpoint. There are literally numerous scientific reasons to abstain. Reasons like…

1. HALF, yes 1 out of 2, of ALL girls will have an STI (sexually transmitted infection) by the time they are 25. Did you get that? Either you or your best friend. That kind of half.

2. STI’s are awful. Truly awful. Don’t trust me? I just went through a flip-book of pictures of people with STI’s. I gagged at least 3 times.

3. A female hormone is released after intercourse that causes emotional bonding with the male. A pleasure hormone follows that one to reinforce the attachment.  You are literally bonding with the male you are sexually active with. Do you want to have that level of bond with men before your spouse?

4. Teen pregnancy is completely life-changing.  You cannot even fathom how much a baby will alter your life…. Aaron and I still can't, and we've been married almost a year!! But for you it would all happen before you’re even out of high school.

I could keep going but that is what the Wednesday night Bible study is for. (If you can’t make it, we will be recording it, so you can request a copy of the session.)

There’s also all the stats involving dating abuse, domestic abuse, pornography abuse, or homosexuality which I won’t go into here.  But I’m begging you, if you are involved in anything of the above types, please seek help.  Why? Since none of those are sex- so why are those topics included in the list? Because all of them, every single one, leads to heartbreak, depression, and worse.

There IS hope. There is always grace. There is always redemption. There is always forgiveness with a second, third, fourth, or 1,021 chance.

Girls reading this: Reach out and talk to your parent, counselor, youth pastor, or safe friend. Start to understand that your worth in Jesus’ eyes is priceless. And nothing that you do or don’t do will change his opinion of you.

Moms reading this: Did you know the biggest influence regarding your daughter’s sex life is still you??  Parents are still the largest influence in their teenagers’ purity. Talk to her. More than once. Let her ask questions and do your best to answer them.  But remember that perfect answers are not what will help her most, your conversations and unconditional love is.

Teenage girls and mothers, if you are in the Houston area, come to Sagemont Church at 6pm on Wednesday, August 6^th.  

If we want to be equipped to fight, we must know the truth.