Perspectives.
That word has been
hounding my thoughts. I’ve heard it sung about on the radio. I’ve heard it
dialogued about by friends. I’ve seen it pushed by commercials. Perspectives define life as we know it. My perspective filters every single word, thought, action, and movement.
Several months back at
a high school basketball game, all these dots began to connect. You see, I was,
along with everyone else, cheering on the players and my team. And as all fans
do, when the ref made a ridiculously absurd call, there I was yelling “Oh come
on!!!” at the man in the striped shirt.
And then the flashback occurred.
You see, I
had been in that man’s exact shoes a lifetime ago… I had the lived the
horrifying tragedy of being a soccer referee for 4 miserably long years. I heard
those exact words “Oh come on!!!” hurled at me more times than I can count. And
each time made me cringe. Yet, here I was years later, doing the same thing to another poor soul. Immediate remorse ensued.
In my head I started pouring compliments and apologies on the striped-shirt
man. I was trying to penance my way out of the guilt.
In those moments, the
irony of perspectives started to swirl in my head. For not only had I been a soccer
ref, but I had also been a soccer player and a soccer spectator. I well remember the differences between
the three perspectives. As the player,
you see the action the closest, which at times is helpful but it’s always biased.
You know when the ball was technically out of bounds, but rarely do you ever feel the need to be honest enough to tell the
ref.
Meanwhile, the spectator has an overall view of the whole field that
the player never sees- the spectator feels the rise and fall of the game. They
too suffer from bias however… their loyalty to their own side must come first.
The referee seemingly
has the best view- he runs the whole field yet isn’t directly engaged in the
play, so he has a much clearer understanding than the players. Yet, we expect
the referee to see things perfectly on the field when there are 22 players
swirling around him with voices shouting and balls flying. Perfection is not
only improbable, it’s impossible.
In life, it seems as
though we constantly rotate from being a player in a situation, to being a spectator of a friend’s life, to being asked to be a referee, whether with children, fighting friends, or giving
unbiased advice. Our reaction to each
situation depends on our perspective or role that we hold in each.
When I was 14, I
couldn’t understand why my parents would say I couldn’t date until I was 16…
not that it mattered. No boys asked anyways, but that’s a different therapy
blog post. Now as a spectator to other parents with 14 year old daughters, I
totally understand their perspective. What a difference 10+ years makes!
When I’m watching my
friends’ life fall apart, my perspective allows me to see more options than
hers because it’s not my “game”. When I’m breaking up a fight between my
friends’, what I call as out of line will be different than what they agree
with.
I’m realizing, perspectives between people will
never be identical.
Yet how much I want them to be.
I get frustrated with
my coworker for having a different approach to a situation. I get annoyed when
my husband doesn't agree 1,000% with my arguments. I think store policies are
idiotic when I don’t get to exchange something on my own terms. I can spot 122
ways the mom is exhibiting poor parenting with the screaming child in Walmart. I
think my parents are living in the Stone Age when they decide to keep their old
phones instead of upgrading to the newest model. I think my friend is crazy for
hanging out with that group of kids
from school. I think my Sunday school teacher is fanatical when he challenged
us to share our faith to our neighbors. I think my teacher is way too hard when
she doesn’t let me make-up my make-up homework.
Life is so much easier…
simpler… better when we all agree. when everyone else agrees with me. with
my perspective.
Life is so much better when
everyone else agrees with my perspective.
That’s what I would never admit but often believe.
But I’m learning to
change that. A little bit every day.
A different perspective
has opened my eyes to so much…
Beauty in areas I’ve never noticed before.
Laughter with people I’d never been friends with before.
Confidence in abilities I didn’t trust in before.
Characteristics in family I hadn’t appreciated before.
Ideas I’d never considered before.
Changes I wouldn’t have made before.
A whole way of life that I wouldn’t have experienced
before…
