Showing posts with label Chaos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chaos. Show all posts

Thursday, September 18, 2014

20 surprise lessons

Some things you expect to learn. Some things you don't.

  
1.    I am learning that learning never ends.
       2.    … that puppies are not logical.
   3.    … that changing me is a whole lot harder than changing him.

       4.    … some people will always know everything... 

and it's not worth bursting their bubble.   


5.    …  that if you’re not careful, you’ll cook the same meal
every night 
with a different side.
      6.    … that men don’t speak our language.  At all.

   7.    …that self-discipline is NOT as fun as laziness. But IS more rewarding.

       




 9.          … that cleanliness is subjective.
       10.  … that biting my tongue is much more difficult than 
speaking my mind.


11.     … that praying through a difficulty is more
 powerful
than talking through it.

12.  … that whoever said “You’ll love eating healthy once you get used to it!” should be put in a padded room and strait-jacket.
13.     … that finding things to be thankful for on those “just curl up and cry” days is necessary but oh-so challenging.


   14.     … that to a puppy- my feet exist to be chew toys or pillows-  depending on her mood.
  15.  … that my reaction to others’ strengths and weaknesses is my responsibility.

  16.     … that friendship is worth chasing.
  17.     … that wearing high heels everyday might look great but is
  
insanity defined.

18.     … that admitting weakness is possible. And helpful.
19.     … to change.
20.     … that chocolate chip cookies are the greatest peace offering ever given. For real- try it out.

But the greatest thing that I am learning is that the Great I AM is the one always doing the teaching. 

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Oreo's Life Lessons

As I mentioned last week, Aaron and I are now puppy parents.  Awesome.

Let’s just say we have our good days and our not so good days...  
Oreo (our Maltipoo puppy- a Maltese and poodle mix) is proving to be very intelligent and also pretty strong-willed, which happens to be an awesome combination for her… and a difficult combination for her never-before-puppy-owner-parents.  In the game of Oreo’s life, the score stands Oreo: 142 the Browns: 2.

So this week, allow me to remind you why you should never get a puppy. Regardless of how ridiculously cute and cuddly they might appear.  It’s just an act.

T-R-U-S-T me.

Oreo’s life lessons:

1. Cute things aren’t always cute.
When we looked at Oreo and her brother, we were trying to decide which puppy to take home. Her brother was super cute too, but even more rambunctious than our “sweet lil’ Oreo”. {Insert Sarcasm}  Actually the couple who owned them advised us to take Oreo because she was such a chill dog. He told us that she was the calmest easiest dog out of the litter. Winner!!!! It was an easy choice once we found that out. She was the perfect puppy!!!

And all that is true. Except it’s not. Yes, there are periods where Oreo minds her own business and plays by herself, but then there’s the other 95% of the time that she is literally fastening herself to our feet as we walk (she gets on the top of our feet and holds on as we walk); refusing to walk on a leash, requiring us to drag her little bottom across concrete until she decides to feel like walking; picking up her water bowl and purposefully tipping it over so she can watch us mop it up…etc…

All true my friends. All true.
So the life lesson that I have concluded is that cute things aren’t cute.  What?  Well, on the outside Oreo is adorable, fluffy, soft, and precious. On the inside she is mischievous, conniving, and manipulative.
In life- if it looks or sounds too good to be true, it is.   Do your background checks. Hire the private investigator. Don’t believe the smooth-talking attractive boy who’s had 14 girlfriends in 2 months but tells you that you are different.
Always remember- cute things aren’t always cute.

2. Causing dissension is way easier than bringing harmony.
Everyone seems to believe the notion that puppy training is a predecessor to infant training. So many people said “Oh you got a puppy?!?! So you’re going to have a baby then?!”
“What?!? Nooo!!!! We just got a puppy. We’re not in the market for a little human.”
 It felt like in our arena of life, friends and family filled the stadium to watch how Aaron and I would handle Oreo. And, now, after having her for almost a month, I must admit I see why they wanted front-row seats.

To a certain level, like an infant, Oreo requires nourishment, constant monitoring, repeated and consistent discipline, and a somewhat stable routine. Aaron and I now  have regular conversations about who will do what, and which one of us will handle which part of her regimen. Along the way we discovered a shocking revelation. We don’t always agree with the best way to handle Oreo. Whoa. I know. That’s a twist you didn’t see coming.

There have been more than one occasion that Oreo has chewed a wall (I only wish I was kidding), nibbled on a vacuum extension tube, decided to taste her “off-limits white rug”, pooped on a kitchen rug, pottied on the hardwood floor, body-slammed her cage door, or sprinted in circles around us when we wanted to catch her… Sometimes, I start to handle the sheer chaos one way and Aaron handles it another. We then begin arguing with each other- all the while, the mischievous, 3 pound black runt who is completely to blame, looks up with her head cocked, and I swear a grin on her face as she watches us fight it out.

She doesn’t wear that same grin when she watches us sitting together without her on the couch, or observing us enjoy our dinner without her.
And I realized, she is blatantly acting out what many of us wish we could do, or go ahead and do in more subtle ways.  It’s easier and sometimes even more fun when we cause conflict in our homes, our friend groups, our classes. Why? What in the world makes me say that?
Well, let’s start with this. Oreo likes to push the boundaries at times for no other reason to see what our response will be.  Which makes me wonder- who do I do that too? Who do I test for no other reason to push their button? In what areas am I behaving just like my puppy??
Or maybe, when we, like Oreo, cause a ruckus, we enjoy knowing we created the stir.  Or maybe there’s a bit of relief knowing that you distracted your teacher from the real issue at hand. Or maybe causing your parents to pick at each other keeps them from picking at you. Or perhaps when you’re getting in trouble, you’re at least getting attention, which is something that you never seem to get any other time.
It’s easier to do something that causes conflict than to work for something that brings harmony. And sometimes when we’re truly honest, we admit that we would rather have the dissension than harmony.

3. Walking away from something you care about is easier than you think.
Case in point, when Oreo gets sick of us (a giant whopping 5% of the time), she leaves us. Without looking back. It still surprises us a little every time she does it. She’s having a great time, playing tug-of-war, fetch, or “jump-all-over-Aaron” until she’s done. Then she’s over it.

For some of us, this doesn’t seem like a magical gift. For others it is. In our minds we are screaming- if only I could walk away???!!!!! How many times have you kept dating the wrong guy, because you just couldn’t break away? How many times have we gotten in trouble because of our poor friend choices because we couldn’t make the separation? How many times have we over-eaten the cookies because saying no is impossible in that moment?
Ladies, let’s take a lesson from the puppy. Walk away. Learn to say no when it’s needed. Protect yourself. Protect your heart. Protect your health. Protect your choices. Protect your future. Protect your kids. 

No isn’t always bad. In fact, sometimes, it’s the best, most loving thing we can say or do.
Here’s the thing- Aaron and I aren’t mad at Oreo when she leaves. We don’t hate her. We think it’s pretty awesome actually. At the young age of 3 months, she knows more than I do in my 29 years. She knows when she needs to be done. 
And for you, the people who truly care about you will support your decision to do the same.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, ok….So, maybe those don’t completely support the argument to save yourself from getting a puppy, and if I’m being completely vulnerable, I’ll admit that I’m pretty attached to Oreo myself. I mean, she is pretty cute, right?!




Give me 5 minutes to when she’s back to eating our wall again- I might change my stance.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Emergencies


Fast. Speedy. Quick. Swift. Rapid. Blistering.
Break-neck. Hurried. Supersonic.

All of those could you be used to describe parts of me.  I walk quickly. I drive fast. I talk hurriedly. I rush speedily. I even think swiftly.
I love movement. Long lines cause me to question my sanity. Slow retail service causes me to hyperventilate. Monotonous and pointless discussions confuse and frustrate me. I like figuring out the fastest way home. The quickest solution to a problem. The best grocery line to stand in.



 I’m always looking to save a second which leads to saving a minute, to an hour…etc, etc, etc…





And then the author of the book I’m reading wrote something that stopped me cold.

“Life is not an emergency. Life is brief and it is fleeting but it is not an emergency. Emergencies are sudden, unexpected events —
but is anything under the sun unexpected to God?”*

What? Life is not an emergency? Life does not have to be pursued at break-neck speed for fear that slowing down means losing life? What an entirely different approach. In fact, that changes the mindset of each of my every day’s.

I asked my husband last night, “What would you do if you knew you had 6 months to live?” He answered as most, if not all of us would. He talked about making the most of life and the moments left. He would take a dream-vacation with me and have significant conversations with friends and family. He would soak in the little bit of time left…. When he asked me what I would do- I had nothing else to add. He had summed it up. With knowledge of a fleeting life-span, I would savor the time with those I love and cherish rather than rush it.

As we kept talking I began to tear up- thoughts of 6 months left to live easily cause sadness... But also regret. Although the original question was hypothetical, the follow-up question my brain cornered me with was real….

“Why am I putting off those savored conversations and special memories??
Why don’t I live those moments now?”

James 4:14 tells us:

“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life?
You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”






How is that different than being told by a doctor- “Your time is short”? Yet, just how differently would I live my life if a doctor uttered the exact same phrase to me that James does?  Vastly. 
Life would no longer be lived as an emergency- blasting from one event to the next, but it would be lived with steadfast determination. A choice of purpose and intentionality. Decisions to remember the moments and take advantage of them rather than moments taking advantage of me.

This same author points out:

“Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing.... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.” *

Ouch. It feels like I was tangibly pricked. How many times have I rushed around in order to fit more “things”, more “memories,” more “to-do’s” in only to find myself exhausted and burned-out…leaving negative impressions instead of joyful memories.

I find myself doing that in more areas than I even realize. In desperate attempts to “enjoy life” and to “live life to the fullest” I began to fall into the trap of an emergency-filled life instead of a fleeting life. My fear of losing out on life will not magically add to my life. Quite the opposite actually.   I’m not losing anything by slowing down. I’m not missing out by taking a breath. I’m not forgoing memories by being at peace with the day-to-day activities, conversations, and work. Those are part of my life. God’s placement of me in this time, at this job, with these friends, and born into my family is intentional.

My every day’s are here to give me the fullest life God intended.  By rushing through them to get to the tomorrow’s, I’m rushing through my life, my memories, my joys.  

I’m learning to live today. And when tomorrow comes, to live then.


 As a Christ-follower...“This day is not a sieve, losing time. With each passing minute, each passing year, there's this deepening awareness that I am filling, gaining time. We stand on the brink of eternity.” *



*Author: Ann Voskamp

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Detours.


Detours. How I hate them.  They take WAY longer than a normal route. They cause confusion and frustration because I am no longer in a familiar place. They create traffic which I H.A.T.E. with a passion.

Plus, there never seems to be anyone actually working on the road that they are shutting down- so why make us detour???
Pause there- if anyone out there works on the roadways; I have two thoughts for you.

1st- I’m extremely thankful for you. Anytime I drive one of the bridges by Sagemont that seem to be taller than a skyscraper, I always have a moment of awe that the bridge could be built while simultaneously experiencing a moment of terror that the bridge was built.  I’ve seen what happens to Lego towers when they’re not attached quite right….
2nd- Could you please explain why it seems permissible to put out "Road Closed" signs 6 ½ months before any human ever starts to work on that road? Please tell me there’s a reason- if nothing else, that it’s a plot to put the entire city of Houston into a traffic gridlock… oh wait…Houston already is. I answered my own question.

Anyways... 
Suffice it to say, I dislike detours.
And
all that comes with them.

I’ve recently talked with friends who are job searching. I hear from friends who have surprising new obstacles at work. I listen to friends who have encountered unforeseen trials. I know friends who are in the middle of major life decisions. And the list goes on and on…. Life’s detours.  How we hate them just like, (or most likely), more than road detours.

I don’t know about you, but I have my life plan and goals. So when something happens that detours me off that plan, I’m NOT happy. Why should I be? The plans are good. They aren't dishonoring to God…. And just like road detours, life detours cause HUGE delays and are frustrating and confusing. So answer me this, if my end goal is to work for a church and help further God’s kingdom, why did I have to wait for 2 years after grad school until I arrived here? If I wanted to be married, why did I have to wait until I’m 28 to find the right man?

Or maybe your questions sound like this…if I want to be a nurse overseas, why do I have to go to nursing school and then work three years in America first? If I want to teach 2nd grade, why do I have to spend my first year teaching Kindergarten? If I simply want to find a job so I can pay my bills, why have I been searching and applying for months without any offers? If I want to have children, why am I infertile? If I love volleyball, why can’t I make the school team?

We all have our questions. We all have experienced our road blocks… our detours to life’s goals.  And most of us have been confused. Maybe a little frustrated. Hurt. Annoyed. Angry.  And weary…always weary of the detours…

Why do we have to get caught in “life’s traffic” before arriving to our dream destination? Why do we have to be pointed onto a new road, one of unfamiliar surroundings and surprising twists & turns?

If we strip away the other questions, we are left with this one simply query:
Why doesn’t God follow our plans... our “map”?


Reading it that way makes me cringe a little. 
Do I really want God to follow my plans when He has so clearly told me:

 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written,
every one of them, the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was one of them..*
For MY thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways MY ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are
MY ways higher than your ways and MY thoughts than your thoughts...**
YOU number my wanderings,
put my tears into Your bottle, are they not in Your book?...
This I know,
because God is for me.***


Hearing that God has planned out my days before I was even born, with plans that are immeasurably higher than mine, I never have to doubt that He has led me down a closed road. I never have to wonder if he sees how many tears I cry on my detour…He has collected each teardrop. My “wanderings” are numbered by Him…they are ordained by Him.

At the end of the day, I am learning to trust that

My detour is actually the path.

How?

Because this I know…God is for me.



* Ps. 139:16
** Is. 55:8-9

**Ps. 56:8-11