Since dating and marrying a Theater Director/Teacher
extraordinaire, my world has expanded quite significantly. For example, I now
listen to show critiques. What’s that you say? My husband should shower me with
gifts and appreciation for being the best wife ever? That’s so sweet! I’ll be sure to pass that along to
him.
In this particular case, the suggestion was given
for the show to adjust the lighting in two particular scenes so that we (the
audience) could better “see the struggle” in the
heroin’s facial expressions as she debated between life-changing choices.
That suggestion struck me as intriguing but I
couldn’t quite figure out why until the next day. I finally realized it was odd because in “real
life” we adopt the opposite motto. In Frozen
for example, Elsa’s father says the phrase that we all seem to adopt in hard
times “Conceal, don’t feel.” Isn’t
that our natural instinct girls? When we are in difficult situations, when we
are overwhelmed, or when we are making life-changing decisions, how many times
have we told ourselves “conceal, don’t feel”… maybe in different words, but the
same message. In Frozen, it’s easy
for us to see how that motto devastates Elsa, but in “real” life, in our
own
lives, we are so easily trapped by the same thinking. Elsa reacts as most
teenage girls… and many times young women…or married women…or older women do.
Elsa withdraws. She learns to hide the pain. When she reappears, she’s guarded. And finally,
after one last hurt, she runs.
Can we really blame her? How many times have I
been hurt or scared and I pull back from someone, afraid that they will reject
me? Afraid that they’ll find me weird, strange, or beyond “repair”? So I bury
the thoughts. I bury the pain. And when I finally am able to “show my face” again,
it’s a new side. One that’s guarded and cautious, afraid to be vulnerable and
free. We think the more we hold ourselves together and present a “good face”;
the better it will be for everyone involved. Why else do we answer “Nothing.” when
our husbands/fathers/boyfriends/guy friends ask us “What’s wrong?” (Is that really the
best for everyone involved???) And if I start to crack, if my “good face” starts
to show real fear, I flee. I run from the person. I avoid the situation. I keep
up appearances by whatever means necessary.
The more I live, the more I believe that when people think you "have it all together", that's one of the hardest places to be. Because instead of actually having it all together, sometimes, you are just one step away from running. But you can't tell anyone that.... because you "have it all together."
Concealing,
not feeling, creates its own prison. One of
expectations and pride.
So when we are in that place, what is the answer? Is
it to Let it go and storm down ice
and snow, covering the neighborhood in a winter snow storm?
No. Sorry girls. Don’t let it go… at least not in that way…
I go back to that piece of advice given by the
theater judge. Let people “see the
struggle.” Now, I’m not saying we
need to list all of our issues on Facebook and let people vote on how you
should best handle them. Don’t call in to the radio station and let your family
and friends know that you’re flunking out of college by sobbing to the dj about
your failures at A&M. I’m not even saying to tell your community group that
you need “prayer” for ______________ and then 30 minutes later, you’ve
convinced yourself and everyone else that you’re cray-cray! (Crazy for those of
us older the age of 18).
Let it go by going to that
friend, or that small group, the
one who has walked with you through life’s ups and downs, that is trustworthy,
godly, and wise, and confide in them and let them encourage you and build you up… just as you are doing with them.. 1
Thessalonians 5:11
After all… Two
are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him
up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes
4:9-10
Don’t
feel the need to conceal your feelings, but find the freedom to
be honest in a wise and appropriate manner.
be honest in a wise and appropriate manner.
Every day of our life will not be filled with
singing snowmen and beautiful ice sculptures. Some days will be filled with
fear, loneliness, decisions, and hardships.
Life is not made to be concealed nor is it to be endured alone. Tears of
happiness and tears of joy are better shed with another by our side. Both the
ups and downs can bring you closer to Christ and closer to friends, but it’s
our decision to let them.
Share each other’s troubles and problems, and so
obey our Lord’s command. Gal. 6:2
And smile...just because it's Olaf.
