3 Life Lessons from Another Generation

As much as I hate to admit this, I’m not really a “young adult” anymore.  I’ve been out of college *cough* years, and so although I’m not a “middle-aged” person, it pains me to admit that some might say I’m closer to that life stage than I am the college life stage.

And yet, as I age grow-up, I am realizing how badly I want to keep a student’s heart! Why? Because this younger generation is inspiring. And I don't mean in the fluffy “you can be whatever you want” type of way but in the reality that "life can be rough" type of way.  

1. Giving free forgiveness

It’s unbelievable to me to see how much students have been hurt. In ridiculous and sometimes horrible ways.  I’ve sat through conversation after conversation in the past few months / years, listening to girls stories and finding out deep wounds that would leave most shaken and destroyed.  But much to my shock, not only are these young people standing stronger in their faith than before, they are walking in grace.

I’ve seen the practical obedience to the hard commands to love enemies and forgive brothers as they’ve said things like:

“She wasn’t trying to be like that. She was just ignorant.”

“It’s ok. God’s grace is deeper.” 

“I can’t judge them- I’ve made mistakes in my past too.”

“I don’t understand it. I’m hurt by it. But I don’t want to stay in this place.”

Their statements are eerily similar to Jesus’ words:

Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; * But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you; ** Father forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.” ***

I can’t help but ask myself, when was the last time I sounded just like Jesus especially in an area as hard as forgiveness?

2. Crying S.O.S.

If you’ve texted with someone under the age of 30 recently, then you may have noticed that the SOS signal is the commonly used abbreviation for HELP in texting.  We won’t discuss whether or not I think SOS is a warranted cry when the text is that they need to borrow a pencil… but I do understand the distress signal for say, chocolate chip cookies!

Regardless, students have no issue with sending the SOS flare.

SOS! I need a flat iron!

SOS! That cute boy from math class said hi!

SOS! I can’t understand Bio!

SOS! My parents are getting divorced.

SOS! I don’t understand why God allowed this to happen.

SOS! My heart is breaking for my friend.

The cries range in heaviness but all are real. All are genuine needs.

At what point in my life did I transition from feeling like I can ask for help for any of life’s situations into the unrealistic belief that I have to be perfectly put together and never admit I need anything? Maybe even more important than asking the when is to ask the why?

Why do we not send the SOS flare when life takes a screeching turn in a direction we never saw coming? Why do we pretend that we’re not shaken, bruised, and distraught?

When was the last time I was genuine enough to ask for help?

3. Living fully

Somewhere along the road of “adulthood,” you learn a secret shortcut… you learn to stop thinking introspectively. It requires too much energy.  Instead, you { I } just go with the flow. We do what we need to do in order to be successful at our jobs, a good member of our family, and an active church member. Rarely do we stop to creatively think of ways to improve ourselves, our relationships, and our spiritual walk.  

It’s as if we are settling for surviving instead of living.

Yet as I have conversations with students, rarely are they content to survive. Instead they want to glean every memory, every experience from their lives.  They want to change in order to better themselves instead of focusing on how to better others.

Now I get that, realistically, as we age we lose some of that energy, but yet we also supposedly gain wisdom. So why don’t apply that wisdom to pick which areas of my life to still exert the most energy so that I can get the most return?

What do I mean?  

• Why do I spend so much energy on obsessing over the little things in my job instead of praying over the people I work with?
• Why do I spend so much energy on trying to meet the world’s fleeting view of beauty instead of spending time investing in my eternal relationship with Christ?
• Why do I get caught up in drama when I could be studying wisdom?

So now what….

I’m learning to learn from those younger than me.

To be a bit more humble when it comes to life.

I’m learning that instead of discounting the younger generation because they haven’t made it to my life stage yet, maybe I should be acquiring their qualities.

To not be so quick to judge. So quick to fix things alone. So quick to survive.

I’m learning that maybe the younger ones have an outlook that actually looks more like Jesus’ than my own.

*Lk 6:37

**Lk 6:27

*** Lk 22:34

Mascara Running. Hands Clapping

Earth Shattering.

Heavens Rejoicing.

Galaxies Smiling.

Mascara Running.

Praises Rising.

Hands Clapping.

Glory Shining.

Laughter Ringing.

Music Blaring.

Hugs Tightening.

Hearts Pumping.

Joy Overflowing.

Children Dancing.

Adults Shouting.

Orchestra Performing.

Angels Twirling.

Smiles Beaming.

Light Shining.

This happens when one, just one lost soul is redeemed by the saving grace of Jesus. Tonight we have celebrated 21 lost souls finding salvation through the blood of the Lamb!

O Glorious Day.

O Glorious Week.

O Glorious Savior.

*If you ever have questions, please comment or message me. I would love to share with you this life-changing, forever gaining, glorious beautiful Love that has saved my soul.  It's so simple. It's so loving. It's so grace.

One day.

Dear World,

Sometimes my “todays” are difficult. Exhausting. Hurtful. Unfair. Frightening. Deafening….Hard. …

But....

One day … sorrow will be unknown.

One day … words will bring healing.

One day … exhaustion will be defeated.

One day … fear will flee.

One day … arguments will fade.

One day … weariness will be extinct.

One day … beauty will be achievable.

One day … disappointment will be homeless.

One day … sadness will disappear.

One day … loneliness will be impossible.

One day … heartbreak will be replaced.

One day… life will be good.

One day… beauty will be enjoyed.
One day… smiles will abound.

One day… justice will be given.

One day… love will overwhelm.
One day… laughter will echo.

One day… desires will be fulfilled.

One day… questions will be answered.

One day… one day….

Not today. But one day.

And for now, that has to be enough. That will be enough. That is enough.

Love,

Me

Oh My. Junior High.

I can’t thank everyone enough for their outpouring of support and encouragement after I posted last week about Everyday Boldness!  You all supported and encouraged me to pursue this dream, and thank you for all of your kind words, thoughts, prayers and Facebook shares! I am eternally grateful!

With that in mind, I wanted to somehow “repay” you by writing this brilliant post that will make each of you laugh and cry, while helping you navigate whatever circumstance you are in the middle of…all while helping you have the happiest day you could imagine. As great as that sounds, it’s also impossible for me…. So, sorry folks. You’re on your own for finding brilliant blogs that will accomplish that. 

This past week I had a little bit of a break from normalcy because I spent several days with a group of junior high students on a mission trip. There were 3 leaders and 15 students. We all took away some life lessons from the week, but mine might be a little different than the students.

1. There’s a definite truth behind the stereotype that junior high boys smell. They do.

On the first night there, before we had even spent one night, I walked past the boys’ room and literally gasped…. And then went into a coughing spasm. I had never smelled a stench like that, much less inhaled it. 

The next day I bought the male leader a bottle of Febreeze because I honestly didn’t think he would survive the trip while breathing that air all night.

We went through an ENTIRE bottle in 4 days. And it still wasn’t enough. Not even close.

2.  Sugar should be banned until the age of 16.

I already had seen evidence of this, but this trip confirmed it without question. Sugar should be illegal for anyone under the age of 16.

I saw changes, heard noises, and watched transformations that I would not have believed possible if I hadn’t seen them for myself.  Sugar changes junior high students. In ways that you can’t even imagine.

Start a petition. Call your congressman. Do whatever it takes. Keep sugar away from pre-teens. It’s the only way to save our nation.

3.  Don’t ask junior high girls for help with directions.

Some of you read this and probably thought- “Holly, you really should have known that before now.” And I would say to you that is true, but some things you just got to learn the hard way I suppose.

The first day of the trip, I had stopped to get the lunch for our group. As we were leaving, I started backing out of the restaurant parking lot.  I asked one of the girls sitting in the back seat of my rental SUV to look and tell me if I was getting too close to the car behind me. She turned around and yelled “No, you’re fine. You have room.”

The other girl in the backseat piped up “You have room before you hit the car, but you don’t have much room before you hit the man on the ground.”

Brakes slammed. WHAT?! Evidently the owner of the car was lying on the ground in front of it looking at something under his car.

When I asked why in the world the first girl didn’t say anything, she responded with…. “You just asked me if there was room before the car….”

She was fired from offering any input the rest of the trip. And to clarify- I did not run over anyone through the duration of the trip.

 But, I must admit- despite all the hilariousness and weirdness of 7^th and 8^th grade, there’s something special at that age as well. There was something that I think all three of us “grown-ups” would agree on… these kids knew how to enjoy themselves.

4. EnJoY LiFe.

It’s okay to ask questions.

As we get older, the peer pressure becomes so much greater to “have it all together.” To ask a question is to risk being vulnerable, to show that you don’t know everything…. And yet, there is freedom in that. There is freedom in honesty.

These girls asked questions. They didn’t know everything, so they just asked. Sometimes they asked the same question every single day…..again, and again, and again…. But, they still asked. Even if they didn’t like the answer, it still enabled them to follow the instructions, or change their plans so they could do it correctly.

How many times have I made something so much harder than it needs to be because I was afraid to ask? Afraid to admit I didn’t know? Scared to be vulnerable? Afraid I have to change my plans?

When is the last time I asked a question?

Call your parents.

We collected their phones at the beginning of the trip, so they could focus on the trip and not on social media. But you know what? They still wanted to call their parents and tell them everything. 

It was sweet to hear bits and pieces of conversations from girls talking to their parents, and when their parents arrived to pick them up on Sunday, I heard “Mom!” coming from all directions.

Moms will always be moms to their girls. They will always appreciate a phone call, no matter how old you might be.

Embrace Excitement

We surprised the kids with a tour of the Dallas Stadium on the way home from the mission trip. We were a bit unsure if the kids would think it was cool, but we were really hoping they would enjoy it. The group loved it… and they showed it! Sometimes they showed it a bit too much, but I was reminded how different it is traveling with pre-teens and young teenagers. They exude excitement. They breathe it in and shout it out. And despite the exhaustion that means when you’re the chaperone, there’s always something refreshing about it.

 Little things will bring me great joy if only I will let them. I’m the first to admit I usually see negative before positive, but being with these kids, I was reminded that as children, life is fun. It’s full of joy and laughter.  I know that as we grow older, the weight and responsibilities of life change that for most of us. But when we are given opportunities of having fun, of being excited, why not embrace it? Why not soak it in?

 So tonight, when I meet up with my girlfriends, I’m going to laugh. I’m going to smile. I’m going to be excited that I get to spend a couple hours with some girls who I care about. 

 

As I start a new week back at home, a new week of “normalcy” I can’t help but think :

I wonder who I should contact about getting a law passed to up the “sugar age”…. Oh and…I should enjoy my life today.

 

So that’s my goal after spending 5 days with junior highers- to laugh more today than I did yesterday.... Proverbs does say after all… “A merry heart is good medicine…”

So, in this one area, to become a little bit more like a 7^th grader and a little less like a “grown-up”.  

 

Catch-up Tuesday: Unexpected moments...

I fell asleep yesterday at 9pm. Yes… 9pm. It was GLORIOUS!!!!!! But as a result today is deemed “Tuesday Catch-Up” since Monday’s Musings did not happen. My apologies!!!

I apologize if it seems the past couple of weeks, I write with a sense of heaviness, but, to be honest with you, my heart is heavy. So many friends and loved ones are struggling with so much, and so many others, that I don’t know, are facing unbelievable trials. So as I am working through everyday life and the circumstances that come, I write what I learn along the way.

Sometimes things hit.  Sometimes it’s unexpected- other times it’s not. But regardless, there’s always an impact.

When blessings hit, we are filled with appreciation, surprise, elation, and joy.  I remember when Aaron proposed- I was SHOCKED. (He had convinced me, quite thoroughly, that it would be 3-4 more months before our engagement).  In that moment, I couldn’t even put a thought together, let alone a sentence. It was beautiful.

Think back to a surprise blessing and the emotions that rushed over you. …Sometimes it is small surprises, like a friend paying for a lunch, a card in the mail, an extra order of Waffle Fries in your Chickfila bag… but no matter the size of the surprise, the impact hits and smiles flow.

When trials hit, however, emotions do as well: despair, bewilderment, frustration, dread, sorrow. The shock that we encounter is hardly beautiful. It’s destructive. When I think of those unexpected moments in my life or my loved ones’ lives, I cringe. The pain is raw and the emotions run deep.

Unexpected moments often bring extreme reactions. You see this echoed in Jesus’ disciples and crowds following Him. When Christ performed miracles, the surprise and joy flowed. The excitement was buzzing! When you read the Gospels you can practically feel it reach through the pages.

 When Christ was crucified, the despair and dread among the disciples were paralyzing. They stayed together rarely venturing outside… a far cry when they were willing to go out two by two to spread the Gospel (Mark 6) without taking anything for their journey. What a difference a surprise circumstance makes.

The difference between the impacts is obvious:  Excitement and joy VS dread and withdrawal.

And yet, God allows both. The good collisions and the bad ones. But why?

Phillip Yancey said this: “Within the pages of one book the same person experiences an overwhelming sense of God’s presence and also God’s absence.”

 

God allows life to happen. Therefore, in this fallen world, we will experience the effects of sin through the unexpected impacts, surprises, and collisions that hit. When they hit, we must fight through our emotions to remember the goodness of God’s sovereignty is to be trusted, not the badness of our circumstances.

I must hold onto the grace that holds on to me… as I keep learning that even though the surprise collision or accident, makes a difference in my life, it does not make a difference in God’s plan, God’s grace, or God’s goodness.

Isaiah 40:28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. 29 He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. 30 Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

“John Claypool, reflecting on that passage, notes that the order reverses what we might expect. As if to overturn our preconceptions, Isaiah begins with soaring and ends with walking. All Christians pass through various stages. At times- for many it comes early in the journey- we soar in a state of spiritual ecstasy; at times we run, expressing our faith with the boundless energy of activism; at times we can barely take a step without fainting.

Claypool made this observation, in fact, while sitting at the hospital beside of his ten-year-old daughter. … Now as her life slipped away, he could do nothing but sit by her side, hold her hand… and weep. It took every ounce of spiritual energy to keep from fainting.

Now I am sure that to those looking for the spectacular this may sound insignificant indeed. Who wants to be slowed to a walk, to creep along inch by inch, just barely above the threshold of consciousness and not fainting? That may not sound like much of a religious experience, but believe me, in the kind of darkness where I have been, it is the only form of the promise that fits the situation. When there is no occasion to soar and no place to run, and all you can do is trudge along step by step, to hear of a Help that will enable you “to walk and not faint” is good news indeed.”  

-Reaching for the Invisible God, Phillip Yancey

  God’s love and goodness is always with us whether we always realize it or not...

Keeping us from fainting is just as loving as,

and perhaps even more important, than helping us soar.

 

Monday's Musings: That thing

I thought I would be through with this one particular situation (thing)  by now… Things had even started happening where I thought it was being taken care of. And then… BAM. The door was shut. In my face.

I was back to where I started.  ... Ever been in a position like that?

You’d been asking God to answer a prayer for that thing… whether it might be for a boyfriend, a husband, a child, money to pay off medical debt, a new job, a friendship restored…

Or maybe you’re like me on some days, and that thing, that “situation” that I’m asking God to move me through is the ability to tame my hair, the ability to remember to take my lunch to work, the ability to make it to the gas station since my gas light came on, the ability to turn down the cookie…since I already ate 2 doughnuts!!

We all have days with situations. Some situations are bigger than others. Some are longer than others. But we all have periods where we thought we would be done dealing with that thing by now. The boyfriend would have appeared, the financial struggles would have eased, the parents would stop fighting… the frizz would have been beaten, the lunch would have been brought, or the weight would have been lost. Yet instead...

 BAM. Door shut.

During this period, with my thing, God has been so gracious to me. He’s brought people into my life that have ministered to me in ways I wouldn’t have expected. He’s given me encouragement from many surprising and different directions. His grace has been my anchor. But it’s the kind of grace that also brings a stinging (but needed) reminder. The kind of grace that we are oh-so-thankful for and yet cringe for at the same time.

It’s the grace that God gives when He pours out encouragement for you about that thing while simultaneously showing you that thing is going to last a bit longer.

It was the grace I received when I was in my mid-twenties and was struggling with loneliness… He gave me Scripture after Scripture that brought peace to my soul… while also impressing on me that singleness was that thing  -that current stage of life- that I was going to endure for a while.

The grace you get to keep praying and fighting on the day that your friend or family member gets the news that the medical tests came back positive and that thing, that life situation of medical turmoil, pain, and confusion must be endured for a bit longer…

The grace that I’ve watched my sister live by, day-by-day for the past two years…. While her thing continues and she waits.

God’s Grace: It comes in all shapes and sizes. It comes in words, in people, in music… It comes when you least expect or when you most need it. And what I’m learning is that, although I used to think His grace takes care of situations, that is not always true. Sometimes His grace takes you out of that thing, but sometimes it leaves you in that thing.

1 Peter 4:19 Therefore, those who also suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.

1 Peter 5:10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

So my friends, join me in clinging to Peter’s words, encouragement and promises. Our “thing’s” won’t last for eternity but His grace will.

Monday's Musings: Come

December is a month of going.
We go to Christmas parties. We go look at Christmas lights. We go to the store to buy pounds of chocolate. We go to work.  We go to friends’ homes for celebrations. We go to Christmas programs at school. We go to church. We go to see our family- near or far. We go to every last possible store to find the right present…. Or we go to the nearest store and say good riddance to traffic. But regardless of whomever you are, single, or married, young or old, teenager, or middle-aged, in December we go and we go and we go.

And for the most part, it is wonderful. It’s part of what makes Christmas in America- the parties, the lights, the food, the Christmas gatherings with family and friends, the beautiful church services, the Christmas programs. They bring memories and laughter, and it seems like cameras never get used quite so much as they do the last 31 days of the year!

And yet, in the midst of all of that going, one of my favorite words is “Come.”  

As a little girl, my dad would get home from work, and come upstairs to my room, sit on my bed and say “come here”. I would climb in his lap and sit there as he fell asleep. The goal was for the opposite to happen, that he would sit and hold me until I fell asleep, but invariably, he conked out first. But I loved it. I would sit very still so I wouldn’t wake him in order for the moments to last a little longer.

As a kid, when I would visit my Grandparents, and my Grandma would motion to me and whisper the words “Come here”, and as I followed her, a smile would light up my face because I knew there would be something special for me in the next room…sometimes it was one of my favorite cookies that she would slip to me without my mom seeing, sometimes she would take me to her favorite chair and paint my nails, or sometimes she just talked to me, but in that talk she made me feel like the prettiest girl in the world.

As a college student, when I was so far from home, I would listen to my parents voicemail and hear “Just another week until you get to come home!” And it was that excitement of “coming home”, that joy of knowing in a few days I would get to “come” into my parents’ hugs and my siblings laughter that would give me the strength to study for that last final and write that last paper.

As an adult, when I had a particularly difficult week, and my best friend would text me and say “Come over.” And I would walk in her door, pet her dogs, play with her kids, and sip ice water on the couch and just talk.

At the end of a long day, when my husband sits beside me on the couch and says “Come here” as he pulls me into a hug and just holds me.

As I open the Word of God and hear Jesus telling me…

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest….I have come so that you might have life and life to the full.”*

Come.

There’s something so refreshing in a word so simple.

So as you gather around friends and family, don’t hesitate to say “come” to someone in the midst of the going. It might be just the moment they need.

And, please, in the craziness of going this December, remember to take the time to “come” to Christ. Let him give you the rest you need, and the life you desire.

Monday's Musings: Early Returns

Early Returns

As I sat in my car this weekend amidst the hustle and bustle of Christmas, I couldn’t help but think of “gifts” that I have already received but would like to return.

1. The gift of traffic

I sat in traffic for 10 minutes and went 1 car length. And no, it wasn’t a semi, it was a normal little car’s length. I think Santa’s Elves should give hot coco, apple cider, and stocking stuffers on every corner to cars as they wait. Is that really too much to ask?

2. The gift of crazy shoppers

If you went out on Black Friday- you know exactly what I mean. Super-nice soccer moms were behind us in line outside Target, but as soon as someone tried to cut, you would have thought they were bouncers for the President.

3. The gift of lines

There comes a point half-way through December that I think to myself, “Holly- do we need food badly enough that it’s worth waiting in line for 45 minutes?”
You might start praying for my husband in a few days… usually avoiding the line ends up winning over food, and we just eat canned goods for 14 days.

4. The gift of Wal-Mart

Let’s be honest. I have a love-hate relationship with Wal-Mart. I can’t live with it, but I can’t live without it. It’s the eternal struggle.

 

 

Could I please return the above gifts on an exchange receipt? Instead I’d like cookies delivered to my car, shoppers singing Christmas carols while they shop,  immediate check-out ability, and a Wal-Mart that isn’t so… Wal-Mart.

 

 

 

And yet, then I think about the friends’ who have dearly loved family members battling cancer this month. The parents’ who aren’t able to buy gifts for their children this Christmas. The friends’ who don’t have anyone to share Christmas with. The families where someone won’t be home for Christmas. The friends’ who don’t have the hope that Christ alone can bring as we celebrate His birth.

Their “Return” gifts look different than mine…and suddenly, mine don’t seem quite so bad. Traffic, crazy shoppers, lines, and even Wal-Mart are reminders that for this year, this Christmas, I have much to be thankful for because if those are all the “gifts” I would like to return, then I am truly blessed indeed.

A friend of mine said it this way on Friday, “You never know, just by looking at a person, what battle they are facing or what struggle they are experiencing.”

So as you walk through Wal-Mart, drive through traffic, even stand in line with crazy shoppers, remember- we all have circumstances we would “Return” if only it worked that way.

Have some grace. Give some mercy.

And most of all, share the Hope- Christ was born. The Savior did come. Jesus Christ, Son of God, died for our sin, He took our punishment for sin, but then He gloriously rose from the dead so we can have eternal life through Him. If only we believe and accept.

 

So friends, I remind you of the lesson that I was reminded of:

 

Share the gifts of grace and mercy, as well as the hope of salvation,

for those gifts will never make it on anyone’s “Return” list.