Frozen's struggles. Theater's truths.

Since dating and marrying a Theater Director/Teacher extraordinaire, my world has expanded quite significantly. For example, I now listen to show critiques. What’s that you say? My husband should shower me with gifts and appreciation for being the best wife ever? That’s so sweet! I’ll be sure to pass that along to him.

In this particular case, the suggestion was given for the show to adjust the lighting in two particular scenes so that we (the audience) could better “see the struggle” in the heroin’s facial expressions as she debated between life-changing choices.

That suggestion struck me as intriguing but I couldn’t quite figure out why until the next day.  I finally realized it was odd because in “real life” we adopt the opposite motto. In Frozen for example, Elsa’s father says the phrase that we all seem to adopt in hard times “Conceal, don’t feel.” Isn’t that our natural instinct girls? When we are in difficult situations, when we are overwhelmed, or when we are making life-changing decisions, how many times have we told ourselves “conceal, don’t feel”… maybe in different words, but the same message. In Frozen, it’s easy for us to see how that motto devastates Elsa, but in “real” life, in our own lives, we are so easily trapped by the same thinking. Elsa reacts as most teenage girls… and many times young women…or married women…or older women do. Elsa withdraws. She learns to hide the pain.  When she reappears, she’s guarded. And finally, after one last hurt, she runs. 

Can we really blame her? How many times have I been hurt or scared and I pull back from someone, afraid that they will reject me? Afraid that they’ll find me weird, strange, or beyond “repair”? So I bury the thoughts. I bury the pain. And when I finally am able to “show my face” again, it’s a new side. One that’s guarded and cautious, afraid to be vulnerable and free. We think the more we hold ourselves together and present a “good face”; the better it will be for everyone involved. Why else do we answer “Nothing.” when our husbands/fathers/boyfriends/guy friends ask us “What’s wrong?”  (Is that really the best for everyone involved???) And if I start to crack, if my “good face” starts to show real fear, I flee. I run from the person. I avoid the situation. I keep up appearances by whatever means necessary.

 Ever been told “It just seems like you have it all together”?  

The more I live, the more I believe that when people think you "have it all together", that's one of the hardest places to be. Because instead of actually having it all together, sometimes, you are just one step away from running. But you can't tell anyone that.... because you "have it all together."

Concealing, not feeling, creates its own prison. One of expectations and pride.

So when we are in that place, what is the answer? Is it to Let it go and storm down ice and snow, covering the neighborhood in a winter snow storm?

No. Sorry girls. Don’t let it go… at least not in that way…

I go back to that piece of advice given by the theater judge. Let people “see the struggle.”  Now, I’m not saying we need to list all of our issues on Facebook and let people vote on how you should best handle them. Don’t call in to the radio station and let your family and friends know that you’re flunking out of college by sobbing to the dj about your failures at A&M. I’m not even saying to tell your community group that you need “prayer” for ______________ and then 30 minutes later, you’ve convinced yourself and everyone else that you’re cray-cray! (Crazy for those of us older the age of 18).

Let it go by going to that friend, or that small group, the one who has walked with you through life’s ups and downs, that is trustworthy, godly, and wise, and confide in them and let them encourage you and build you up… just as you are doing with them.. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

After all… Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 

 

 

Don’t feel the need to conceal your feelings, but find the freedom to
be honest in a wise and appropriate manner.

Every day of our life will not be filled with singing snowmen and beautiful ice sculptures. Some days will be filled with fear, loneliness, decisions, and hardships. Life is not made to be concealed nor is it to be endured alone. Tears of happiness and tears of joy are better shed with another by our side. Both the ups and downs can bring you closer to Christ and closer to friends, but it’s our decision to let them.

 

Share each other’s troubles and problems, and so obey our Lord’s command. Gal. 6:2

 

 

And smile...just because it's Olaf.