April Fool's. On me.

You know how sometimes everything just seems to fall into place and you have an almost surreal experience as you think to yourself “Wow… it feels like I’m in a movie. I can’t believe all this is working out!!”

That is NOT my life.

At 11:03 on April 1^st, 2014, I am declaring “You win Tuesday. You win. April Fool’s on me.”

Let me take you back ….

 On Friday night, Aaron and I had a night at home- which was a rarity for us in March! I made dinner, and then we watched a movie. For dinner, I attempted to be a nice wife (every once in a while, I try it out!) and I grilled fish- which is one of Aaron’s favorites, and I also cooked rice on the stove!! (Also one of his favorites).  We won’t talk about the outcome of the fish and the rice, but let’s just say “It’s the thought that counts” applied in this dinner scenario.

After dinner, we watched a movie, and then I came back out to the kitchen to get a drink before bed. I walked into the kitchen area and felt like something was off. I took a deep breath and coughed a little… gas. It smelled like gas!  I started looking around- pretty confused as to where the smell was coming from. What could it… THE STOVE!  My eyes fell on the knobs, and my stomach sank. I had left the burner for the rice on…for 3 HOURS.  The flame had died, but natural gas had been leaking into the air for 3 hours.  I panicked.  Yelling for Aaron to get a fan, I began turning on the ceiling van and stove vents. He came out, took one breath, and knew exactly what was wrong. He got a tower fan but stopped before he plugged it in.

“Holly- if this sparks, I’m pretty sure we’ll have an explosion.  From the headache we both already are feeling, I’m guessing there is a lot of gas in the air.”

I stop what I’m doing and look at him- dumbfounded. I am SO thankful that God gave me a logical and intelligent husband. I then do what every woman does- I turned to google: “What do I do for a gas leak?”

Number 1 answer on EVERY search result.  DO NOT PLUG ANYTHING IN. The voltage or sparks can cause an explosion.

Ok- so I would have simultaneously killed us and blown up our house.

 #Awesome. #bestwifeaward.

Number 2- Get out of your house. Leave the windows open and flee.

So, literally, an hour after my husband has told me how “nice it was to just chill at home for a night,” and 2 minutes after he posted a sweet Facebook post about it, we get out of our pajamas, pull on our shoes, and drive into Pearland at 9:47pm.

#Awesome. #bestwifeaward

Fast forward to Monday.

Aaron and I had completely different cravings for dinner, so we decided to make our own dinners. Without thought, I put mine in the oven and leave for a walk….only to come home and find out that Aaron couldn’t finish his dinner until mine was done cooking...

#Awesome #bestwifeaward

We go to bed and I wake up around 2am to go to the restroom which is pretty rare for me. I’m usually a “sleep all night” sleeper. I’m groggy as I stumble out of bed and towards the bathroom- and I remember vaguely thinking I can’t see anything.  There was no moonlight, no night light. It was DARK. Or maybe my eyes were closed. I can’t really tell you for sure.

SMACK. I had literally walked INTO the bathroom door. Like with my face.

 The loudness of the hit literally made me jump- I hit that hard.  I can only compare it to 4 years ago when I ran into a car that was in my blind spot. Total shock and confusion takes over as your brain takes a few seconds to figure out what happened. (Can we not dwell on the fact that I seem to have a habit of running into things and causing pain?)

But then the pain set in.  I literally thought I had broken my nose so I reach up to try to figure out if my nose was still on straight… which is surprisingly pretty hard to tell in the pitch black. I stumbled back to the bed, and in the 10 steps it took, it became apparent that my knee hit the door too. Ouch. Definitely going to have a bruise down there.

As I climb on the bed, I confirmed something that I have been learning in marriage:

 My dear sweet amazing husband, hears NOTHING when he’s asleep.

He moved a little, and I thought, “Aw, he’s concerned about me! He’ll check my nose!” Nope. He sat up half-way, turned his back to me, and moaned/growled. “Clearly, I’m on my own for this one.”  
#Awesome.

After verifying my nose wasn’t broken because I could flare my nostrils, I realized two things. Number 1- I still had to go to the bathroom.

Number 2- I could have looked in the mirror to check my nose.

#Awesome.

Tuesday morning (this morning) I get out of bed. Still experiencing a surprising amount of pain in my right nostril and knee, I’m not in the greatest frame of mind as I realize I’m running late for work. As I start to hurry, I proceed to let the curling iron that I’m using, that is set on the HOTTEST setting, land on my neck. HHHHSSSSSSSS. Pain registers a couple seconds too late. I now have a red line seared onto my neck – my skin literally was steaming.

 #Awesome.

Finally, I get to work.… so thankful for toll roads. Sometimes paying the $1.75 is the best decision I make all day. Today that theory has proven true.

I grab some coffee as I walk into staff meeting and I sit down. I’m 5 minutes late, but all things considered, I consider that a win. Until 32 seconds later when I take my first sip of coffee. And realize that I hadn’t actually tightened the lid on my cup. Coffee doesn’t even make it to my mouth. Instead, it cascades like a waterfall down the front of my WHITE shirt and jeans. Did I say WHITE shirt?

#Awesome. 

So my friend, that is why, I am declaring “You win Tuesday. You win. April Fool’s on me.”

I hope you get to be on the other end of April Fool’s today.

But if you’ve had a Tuesday like me- good luck! We’ve still got 12 hours to go!!

#Awesome.