Un-Merry Christmas

For the past couple of weeks, I've been reminded almost daily that although the world is shouting Happy Holidays and the radio sings “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” for many of us, Christmas time does not mean a merry time. For some, in fact, quite the opposite rings true.

For in this period, it seems natural and automatic even to expect life to be awesome. Plans to go perfectly. Storms to wait until the spring. And loneliness to disappear.

But. It. Doesn't.

Rather- plans explode. Storms crash. Loneliness rages. Life hurts.

What do we do now? Although some days I seriously want the option of painting my face green and hanging a sign above my door “Just call me Grinch,” or curling into a fetal position and pulling a blanket over my head until January 5^th, neither of those possibilities are actually feasible. 

There’s a Christmas song in which the lyrics struck me deeply last week as I was seeking answers.

“Light your world, let the love of God shine through
In the little things you do, light your world
And though your light may be
Reaching only two or three, light your world…”

By the grace of God, (truly) I was able to witness this first-hand this past week.  It’s been a tough week. A lot of ups and downs of all different sizes and varieties, but this week, my husband decided that his “light” would reach my world. And as he went above and beyond to extend the love and the grace of Jesus to me, living out Matthew 5:16*, I then found that my light began to grow stronger. I glorified the Father because of my husband.

*Matthew 5:16  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Towards the end of the week, God gave me the grace to extend my light to a sweet elderly widow who lives in the midst of a very difficult time herself. She lives alone, in a small apartment where her visitors are rare. She used to cook and laugh with a sparkle and spunk, but the heartache of being forgotten has dulled the sparkle and halted the spunk.

Her happiness from my visit paled, however, in comparison to my gratefulness that God let me be the one who was able to bring her such joy. And a realization dawned- my difficulties hadn’t lessened. The hardships and trials were still staring me down, but for the first time that week, I chose not to stare back. Instead, I looked around them to find ways to help this widow laugh. 

It’s amazing how much joy your own heart discovers when you’re 

on the hunt to find joy for someone else.

As I drove away, I listened to that Christmas song again and thought “No wonder we are called to let our light shine! In helping someone else, she was encouraged, I was blessed, and God was glorified."  

Sometimes I don't have the strength to light the world. But this week I learned that I can light a world. And that was enough.

And though your light may be… Reaching only two or three, light your world…

John 8:12  Then spoke Jesus again to them, saying, 

I am the light of the world: he that follows me shall not walk in darkness,
but shall have the light of life. 

How NYC stole my Christmas magic:

Every Thanksgiving morning:

I wake up, literally run downstairs, make sure the TV is turned on with Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade  coming through loud and clear, and then head to the kitchen to ice my mom’s homemade cinnamon roll.

It’s been that same morning every Thanksgiving for as long as I can remember. Every time I’m home on Thanksgiving, that is what happens. It’s like there’s something magical about the Macy’s Parade.

So this year, when my husband and I realized we had two free SW flights in our reward account, we started working on our vacation budget…. And much to my shock and overwhelming EXCITEMENT…. We booked flights to NYC for Thanksgiving Week so we could see the Macy’s Parade (and NYC in general)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Magical.  That’s what I expected every second to be. Because that’s what every Christmas movie in NYC declares as reality. The soft snow flittering down, the street-corner shops filled with hot chocolate and cupcakes; the skating rinks with happy couples swirling around; and yes, the parade goers laughing and smiling joyfully as the camera scans the crowd.

Freezing.  Raining. Puddles. Disrespectful Crowds.

Teeth-chattering, bones aching, frost-biting cold.

That’s what we encountered.  Magical was not in the word bank.

Don’t get me wrong, part of our week was beautiful with sunny skies and beautiful weather. But the parade: the life-long tradition of magic, Macy’s Parade was most definitely not.

When the parade started, I kept waiting… waiting for that magic feeling of warmth and Christmas and Holiday Cheer to spread over me.  We left the parade and I still was waiting. It never came.

As we headed back to Texas, I began feeling disappointed and frustrated. What was wrong with me that I wasn’t on top of the world back there?!?! I was in NYC for 4 days and watching the Parade on Thanksgiving morning!!! It was a life-long dream come true. But there were moments, minutes, hours even, that it didn’t feel like I was living my dream.

And I began to realize…..

As an adult, Christmas will never be as magical as it was a child- even when I desperately wish it to be. Life, in fact, will never hold the same magic as it did as a 7 year old girl. 

And this trip taught me that is ok. Because even though the holiday magic never swept over me, when I stopped bemoaning that fact, I realized something far greater was already in my heart that would never need a magical fuzzy to accompany it. 

Why? I had Joy!

Joy over the true cause for celebration: Jesus’ birth! It’s the only time of year where the world still acknowledges there is a reason for celebration that is far greater than any sense of “magic” the human race can come up with.

Because the truth is, magic can’t sustain reality, but joy can transcend it.

You see, I had expected my time in NYC to be as perfect as every holiday romantic comedy I’d watched or as beautiful as every photo-shopped magazine picture I had ever seen, and that’s the problem. I’m basing my dreams of this enchanted season from a world that will never be real, and therefore will never be magical.

But, if I learn to base my expectations and dream my dreams based on the joy of what Christmas is actually about- celebrating the birth of my glorious Savior, Jesus Christ, then
 my season will never be magical but will always be real. 

If I’m offered a magical make-believe world or a joy-filled, grace-infused, love-abundant reality, I choose the joyful reality. Every day. And in doing so, I’m finding that real Christmas joy is overflowing from my heart far more than any amount of “magic” ever could.

**Luke 2:10-14 : And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!