Since
this is Valentine’s week, I feel like succumbing to the obligatory blog post
about Valentine’s Day. As I began
thinking about Friday, I began reminiscing about the Valentines’ of old… and the
many many many years I lived Valentine’s Day as a single woman.
So
today, I bring you the “Single’s Phases of V-day”. For those of you who have always had a
boyfriend, fiancé, or husband, this will probably be incomprehensible. But for
the single girls who are survivors of the Love Month- this might sound familiar.
Phases
of Valentine’s Day
1. Girlfriend night!!!
This
is the common phase for girls who are recently single or who are still young in
their singleness.
Conversations
like these ensue: Let’s dress up and go celebrate! We don’t need guys! Boys are
so overrated! Boys will come and go but girlfriends will last forever!... that
is until one of us gets a boyfriend! Etc…etc…Blah…blah…blah…blah…
Then
comes the next phase: This usually happens once you’ve celebrated Girlfriend
Night a couple of times…
2. Girlfriend night: With the hope of a meeting a boyfriend
night!!!
Not
one girl in the group will admit to it, but every girl thinks the same thing.
“Maybe
if we go to a Sports Grill, we’ll meet a group of godly Christian guys who are
out looking for godly girls!... It is Valentine’s after all… surely single guys
are looking for love too! Besides that would be the cutest love story ever- we
meet and fall-in-love at first sight on Valentine’s!!!” And so all the girls
agree to go to a Sports Grill because it’s “different and fun”, all the while
each trying to figure out she would be able to break away from the group if
that boy Will (God’s Will of course…) at table 7 smiles her way.
Then
comes the phases that smaller groups of the girlfriends get too. (Because let’s
be real, many of them are dating or married off by now…)
3. Girlfriend binge-eating and chick-flick night!
I’m
sick of going out on the town and broadcasting that I’m single and pretending
that I don’t care that I’m single. So this year, I’m inviting Mary Jane over
and we are going to watch romantic comedies, eat cookie dough, and talk about
every single guy in our lives (yes, every single guy… from the guy that we pass
in the hallways and have never spoken with, to the guy that we have worked with
for 2 years and have yet to figure out if he showers…) and whether we would date
them!
But
then
sometimes, even chick flicks and best friends just seem impossible to handle
and you find yourself admitting that you’re going to give in to the 4th
stage…
4. Night of mourning
This
happens when you realize that you are the last one of your friends to be in a
relationship while simultaneously realizing that there is absolutely no guy in your life that is single so
that you can even pretend to wonder if he likes you.
Valentine’s
Day is a reminder that the rest of the world is happy while you are sitting
alone. In your pj’s. Watching Full
House re-runs. Folding your clothes so
that you weren’t lying when you told your best friend that “I just have a lot
of things to do tonight.” All the while wondering why you used to think
cats were such a bad idea.
And
last but not least….
5. I’m single….
At
this point, you have accepted your status on Facebook has been single and will probably
remain single for a while. You have come to terms with the fact that Valentine’s
Day will come every year and you will survive. You’re not being anti-social, nor
are you being Scrooge, but you are completely content to spend February 14th
like you would February 13th or February 15th. You don’t
have to dress up and go out with girlfriends and be in denial over what day it
is. You remind yourself that you will
wake up tomorrow and keep doing what you do…. all the knowing in the back of
your head that one day, your February 14th will be spent with a
person and not a chick-flick.
Maybe
I’m the only girl out there who went through those, and if so… well… pretend
you didn’t read any of the above words.
Now
that I’m married, I am actually finding it helpful to remember the loneliness
February 14th inspired for so many years, because it truly is a
wonderful reminder of so many things...
For
singles, hang in there. It’s tough but completely worth waiting for the right
person. Whatever phase you might be in- it is ok. Don’t give up just yet…. It’s my 29th Valentine’s Day but my
first one married.
For
marrieds, think back to the reasons why you got married to that special person.
Celebrate those reasons this week-
in your own way and in your own personality, let
the people in your life know they are loved.…
Regardless
of whether they return the sentiments, regardless of whether you want to, regardless
of whether you find V-day cheesy and superficial, your love and appreciation of
your spouses or families this week doesn’t have to be.
Married or single, happy or sad,
February 14th will only come once this year.
Why not make the best
of it?
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