Worst advice ever.

Since it’s May and that means all types of graduations and life changes, I thought I would share with you some advice that is extremely popular that I have found very UN-helpful. 3 little words that cause more heartache than possibly any other sentence out there …

No it’s not a mistake. Follow your heart is quite possibly the worst advice I’ve ever received (except for being told that the Freshman 15 doesn’t actually happen)!

But what?! How could following your heart be so awful? That just means that you’re following what you love and not letting anyone get in your way! How can that possibly end badly, right?!

Wrong.

That’s what we wished happened.

Let’s break this down.

My heart….

I don’t know about you, but some days, my heart leads me to eating 4.6 slices of pizza. Some days my heart leads me eating cookie dough for breakfast. Some days my heart leads me to watch 14 chick flicks in a row. Some days my heart leads me to believe my friends instead of my loving parents. Some days my heart leads me to believe the voices in the hallway that tell me I’m not worth anything. Some days my heart leads me to believe I’m ugly. Weird. Rejected. Unwanted. Or maybe my heart leads me to believe that I’m perfect. Gorgeous. Popular. Always right. Better.

Our heart is fickle and unreliable. It will draw us to cookies instead of spinach… (so does my taste buds- that one’s not all on the heart). It will draw us to good AND bad influences- whichever feels better in the moment. It will blind our eyes and numb our minds to the truth. All in the name of “following your heart”.

Jeremiah, a prophet of God in the Old Testament, nailed it when he said*:

“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?”

It’s true. My heart is wicked. And I can definitely see why he asks the question- “who can understand it?”

Disagree? How about this- ever been prideful? Jealous? Judgmental? Arrogant? That’s not exactly the emotions that I want my heart to follow- yet I do…frequently.

Ever questioned your worth? Your value? Your point in life? That’s actually not the “heart” that most people are advising you to follow when they tell you that advice.

Or what about his question- “who can understand it?”  Girls, are you really going to try to convince yourself and then me that we understand our emotions? HA! We all know that there has been at least one commercial that we have cried at for no reason. Or at least one lash of anger to someone who didn’t deserve it. Or at least one time in our life when the guy asks us “What’s wrong?” and we have to honestly say “I don’t know...”

So if “follow your heart” is ridiculously awful advice, what can we follow??

Glad you asked- here are some options for you to consider:

1. Your brain.

God gave you a brain- surprisingly enough, it’s more dependable than your emotions. If the guy you want to date because he’s cute has dated 4 other girls in the past 5 days…. THINK about the consequences- don’t imagine how it will FEEL to hold his hand.

2. Godly counsel- parents, pastors, good friends

God put the people in your life for a reason, and if you have a godly family, a student minister, or good friends their counsel counts. If the people who love you most, see major red flags with your “heart’s decision” see number 1.

3. God.

This seems obvious, since it’s the most important, but often we completely forget His Word. Or ignore it. And yet in reality, it is the trump card.

James 1:5 fills us in on this promise:

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Granted, every once in a while God asks us to step out in faith and make a decision that our brain doesn’t always compute, or a decision that our circle of influence doesn’t understand, but when He asks that of us, He makes it very certain to you. Don’t turn that into an excuse to “follow your heart,” however, because those are very different things. The longer you spend in prayer and the Word, the better the outcome will be. And most of the time, when God is the leading factor, numbers one and two fall into place behind Him.

So, to wrap up - am I saying that you never make a decision
 because it makes you happy? No!

Am I saying that anytime you are drawn to something,
you should immediately run away? No!

I am saying this- when you want to follow your heart, check it by ALSO following the three things above.

The bottom line is this:

 Follow God’s heart. For his heart is love and his will is beautiful….

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him… Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.**

*Jeremiah 17:9

**1 John 4:16 and Romans 12:2