One day.

Dear World,

Sometimes my “todays” are difficult. Exhausting. Hurtful. Unfair. Frightening. Deafening….Hard. …

But....

One day … sorrow will be unknown.

One day … words will bring healing.

One day … exhaustion will be defeated.

One day … fear will flee.

One day … arguments will fade.

One day … weariness will be extinct.

One day … beauty will be achievable.

One day … disappointment will be homeless.

One day … sadness will disappear.

One day … loneliness will be impossible.

One day … heartbreak will be replaced.

One day… life will be good.

One day… beauty will be enjoyed.
One day… smiles will abound.

One day… justice will be given.

One day… love will overwhelm.
One day… laughter will echo.

One day… desires will be fulfilled.

One day… questions will be answered.

One day… one day….

Not today. But one day.

And for now, that has to be enough. That will be enough. That is enough.

Love,

Me

Bucket List Run.

I had the privilege of watching my husband cross something off his bucket list. He ran a half marathon, and if you’ll excuse me a second, I’m going to brag. He finished in 1 hour and 52 minutes, and came in 13^th in his age division of 25-29 year old males!! It’s not enough that he completed a goal of monumental self-discipline… (he ran over 170 miles over the past 3 months training for this!) But he did it in a hugely successful fashion!

 

                     

My mom asked me a month or so ago if I was training with him to run it as well.
I laughed. Out loud. “Mom, Aaron started training in January and could already run 4-5 miles when he started.  I could run 45 seconds. So… No. Not running with him.”

Consequently, on Saturday, Aaron ran and I cheered. With a poster. Yep- I’m that awesome of a wife. Never mind that it was the 2^nd ugliest poster at the race. The point being that I made a poster!

Our day…

The race started!!!!!!!!!!!

And the crowd moved. Very slowly. 

If I didn’t know better, I would think I was watching a walk. Or a group of people out for a scenic tour.  Herding cows also came to mind.

But I cheered and smiled. And thought “I’m so glad that’s not me.”

The half-way point…

As I waited for Aaron, the marathoners started running by. As they went through the water station, I noticed that as they would drink their water or eat their snacks, they would immediately then throw the cup or the packaging on the ground. At first it assaulted my “Never litter!” conscience, but then I realized, it made sense. Someone else got to pick up the trash. Not the runners. There weren’t enough trash cans, nor was their goal to be neat and clean. It was to make it to the finish line.

I didn’t have time to think much more about that before I saw Aaron coming around the corner and up the hill. He looked up, saw my wave and started to smile. He waved as he ran by and grinned at my poster. Pretty sure he shook his head a little too. It was an ugly poster. Oh well… I can’t be awesome at everything….

Finish Line!!!!

I waited with anticipation! I was nervous and exhausted for them all! I couldn’t imagine being the one actually running this whole time. Ugh.

Once again, runners started coming.  As they approached the end, some looked dead. Yet, somehow they kept moving their feet. Some looked like they had only been running for 2 minutes and not 2 hours. Yet, no matter how they appeared, each one noticed the crowd gathering to cheer them on. Not everyone smiled at us. Not everyone runner even glanced our way- their eyes were so intent on the finish line, but every runner knew that we were there. And that we were proud of them. Regardless of never having met each other. Regardless of never seeing each other again. I was proud of these men and women for pushing for their goal and accomplishing it. So I cheered for them all - along with the other friends and family of the various crazies runners.

When Aaron started to come up the last hill, I could see the exhaustion on his face. And the determination. I saw him look through the crowd for me, and the smallest smile when he found me. I could see him push himself for the last bit of energy he had and cheered as he sprinted across the finish line.

Done.

Oh Hallelujah! He finished. And we celebrated!!! Well, technically, he gasped for breath, looked for water, and stretched his legs. I celebrated.

Homeward Bound:

On the drive home, I began thinking about the race, and Hebrews 12:1-2 came to mind:

 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

First:

As I thought back to the water station where I saw the runners throwing their wrappers and cups to the ground, I thought about the phrase to “lay aside every weight and the sin which clings so closely.” Could you imagine the absurdity of seeing a runner come across the finish line carrying 13 little plastic cups, 3 wrappers of energy beans, and a cliff bar wrapper all curled up in his palms? Ha! Of course not- that’s crazy! In order for them to accomplish their goal as successfully as possible, they had to let it go and throw it down.  They were “Laying aside every weight. Laying aside every sin.” In order for us to finish the race of life, we have to throw away the garbage, the weights, and the parts of our lives that entangle us in sin.

We don’t realize how vital it is because most of us aren’t marathon runners, but seeing a literal example of this verse made me evaluate my life and the baggage I carry.  It only burdens me, slows me, and handicaps me. I realized it’s time I start living like I’m racing.

Then:

I thought about the crowd, the people that I was with for those two hours, and the beginning of those verses came to mind. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,” written two thousand years earlier, was eerily similar to my experience on April 5^th, 2014. I was part of a “cloud of witnesses” for this race. I was cheering on the runners, regardless of whether I knew them. And I loved it.

But I was there especially for Aaron. I was his witness in particular, and it was my presence that gained that smile from him. My presence reminded him that he wasn’t alone. My presence affirmed that he could finish. My presence celebrated when he did.

In this race called life- am I cheering runners on or slowing them down?

And beyond that- what runner, specifically, am I a “witness” for? What person looks through the crowds of people in his/her life for me when they are going through a difficult time?  Who does my presence give a smile to? Who do I show up for?  

There needs to be someone that I make a difference for. That I witness for.

Last:

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus…”

Aaron didn’t pick his route. He didn’t pick his path. He ran what was set before him. He endured. He ran through the unknowns. He ran looking for his finish line.

That’s what we are called to do in life. To run through the unknowns of life. To run the path that is set before us. To endure.

All the while, looking for our finish line- Jesus Christ, the beginning and the end.

 

It makes so much more sense now. And I wasn’t even the one running.

 

April Fool's. On me.

You know how sometimes everything just seems to fall into place and you have an almost surreal experience as you think to yourself “Wow… it feels like I’m in a movie. I can’t believe all this is working out!!”

That is NOT my life.

At 11:03 on April 1^st, 2014, I am declaring “You win Tuesday. You win. April Fool’s on me.”

Let me take you back ….

 On Friday night, Aaron and I had a night at home- which was a rarity for us in March! I made dinner, and then we watched a movie. For dinner, I attempted to be a nice wife (every once in a while, I try it out!) and I grilled fish- which is one of Aaron’s favorites, and I also cooked rice on the stove!! (Also one of his favorites).  We won’t talk about the outcome of the fish and the rice, but let’s just say “It’s the thought that counts” applied in this dinner scenario.

After dinner, we watched a movie, and then I came back out to the kitchen to get a drink before bed. I walked into the kitchen area and felt like something was off. I took a deep breath and coughed a little… gas. It smelled like gas!  I started looking around- pretty confused as to where the smell was coming from. What could it… THE STOVE!  My eyes fell on the knobs, and my stomach sank. I had left the burner for the rice on…for 3 HOURS.  The flame had died, but natural gas had been leaking into the air for 3 hours.  I panicked.  Yelling for Aaron to get a fan, I began turning on the ceiling van and stove vents. He came out, took one breath, and knew exactly what was wrong. He got a tower fan but stopped before he plugged it in.

“Holly- if this sparks, I’m pretty sure we’ll have an explosion.  From the headache we both already are feeling, I’m guessing there is a lot of gas in the air.”

I stop what I’m doing and look at him- dumbfounded. I am SO thankful that God gave me a logical and intelligent husband. I then do what every woman does- I turned to google: “What do I do for a gas leak?”

Number 1 answer on EVERY search result.  DO NOT PLUG ANYTHING IN. The voltage or sparks can cause an explosion.

Ok- so I would have simultaneously killed us and blown up our house.

 #Awesome. #bestwifeaward.

Number 2- Get out of your house. Leave the windows open and flee.

So, literally, an hour after my husband has told me how “nice it was to just chill at home for a night,” and 2 minutes after he posted a sweet Facebook post about it, we get out of our pajamas, pull on our shoes, and drive into Pearland at 9:47pm.

#Awesome. #bestwifeaward

Fast forward to Monday.

Aaron and I had completely different cravings for dinner, so we decided to make our own dinners. Without thought, I put mine in the oven and leave for a walk….only to come home and find out that Aaron couldn’t finish his dinner until mine was done cooking...

#Awesome #bestwifeaward

We go to bed and I wake up around 2am to go to the restroom which is pretty rare for me. I’m usually a “sleep all night” sleeper. I’m groggy as I stumble out of bed and towards the bathroom- and I remember vaguely thinking I can’t see anything.  There was no moonlight, no night light. It was DARK. Or maybe my eyes were closed. I can’t really tell you for sure.

SMACK. I had literally walked INTO the bathroom door. Like with my face.

 The loudness of the hit literally made me jump- I hit that hard.  I can only compare it to 4 years ago when I ran into a car that was in my blind spot. Total shock and confusion takes over as your brain takes a few seconds to figure out what happened. (Can we not dwell on the fact that I seem to have a habit of running into things and causing pain?)

But then the pain set in.  I literally thought I had broken my nose so I reach up to try to figure out if my nose was still on straight… which is surprisingly pretty hard to tell in the pitch black. I stumbled back to the bed, and in the 10 steps it took, it became apparent that my knee hit the door too. Ouch. Definitely going to have a bruise down there.

As I climb on the bed, I confirmed something that I have been learning in marriage:

 My dear sweet amazing husband, hears NOTHING when he’s asleep.

He moved a little, and I thought, “Aw, he’s concerned about me! He’ll check my nose!” Nope. He sat up half-way, turned his back to me, and moaned/growled. “Clearly, I’m on my own for this one.”  
#Awesome.

After verifying my nose wasn’t broken because I could flare my nostrils, I realized two things. Number 1- I still had to go to the bathroom.

Number 2- I could have looked in the mirror to check my nose.

#Awesome.

Tuesday morning (this morning) I get out of bed. Still experiencing a surprising amount of pain in my right nostril and knee, I’m not in the greatest frame of mind as I realize I’m running late for work. As I start to hurry, I proceed to let the curling iron that I’m using, that is set on the HOTTEST setting, land on my neck. HHHHSSSSSSSS. Pain registers a couple seconds too late. I now have a red line seared onto my neck – my skin literally was steaming.

 #Awesome.

Finally, I get to work.… so thankful for toll roads. Sometimes paying the $1.75 is the best decision I make all day. Today that theory has proven true.

I grab some coffee as I walk into staff meeting and I sit down. I’m 5 minutes late, but all things considered, I consider that a win. Until 32 seconds later when I take my first sip of coffee. And realize that I hadn’t actually tightened the lid on my cup. Coffee doesn’t even make it to my mouth. Instead, it cascades like a waterfall down the front of my WHITE shirt and jeans. Did I say WHITE shirt?

#Awesome. 

So my friend, that is why, I am declaring “You win Tuesday. You win. April Fool’s on me.”

I hope you get to be on the other end of April Fool’s today.

But if you’ve had a Tuesday like me- good luck! We’ve still got 12 hours to go!!

#Awesome.