Mirror Mirror

“Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

 

“Well, let’s see there’s Sarah, and Abby… you can’t forget about Jennifer, and Mary. Oh, and I forgot about Amy, Ashley, and Allie…. Well, then there are the girls from my swim team, and…. And…. And…And…”

How many thousands of times have I mentally asked that question to the mirror in my bathroom. Oh, it sounds a little different. I’m not a plagiarizer mind you!  It usually goes something like this:

 

“Hmmm… I wonder if this shirt hides my stomach well enough?”

“Maybe if I wear these jeans with these boots, it will make my hips look smaller…?”

“I like this color on me. I wonder if anyone will notice me today?”

“I can’t believe I let the hairdresser talk me into this short of hair?!?! I wonder if people will think it makes my face look fat?”

 

Right as my husband and I began dating, Aaron unknowingly stumbled into the mind of females… You see, my roommates had a couple girlfriends over, and as we walked in, we heard one of the girls there explain that she had a major crush on a boy that we knew. But she ended the story with, “It’s not like he’s ever going to look at me. He’s out of my league.”

Hit home with anyone? We’ve all said it. Thought it. Hated it. Believed it.

And thus began the conversation that caused my husband’s mind to swirl. Because he, like us, tried to convince her otherwise, but she wouldn’t budge. Her mind was made. She had asked her mirror that morning like every morning before… and she was told no, she wasn’t the fairest of them all.

As we continued talking, Aaron then posed a thought-provoking question.

 “You all are talented, funny, intelligent and beautiful women. Do all of you, or have all of you struggled with this idea that you aren’t pretty enough? You’re not thin enough? You’re not perfect enough?”

“Yes.” “Yes.” “Absolutely.” “Yes.” “Definitely.”

Silence fell. And then his voice was heard quietly.

“Wow. I had no idea.”

And then one by one, we all agreed that ,not only would none of us say that we thought of ourselves as beautiful, not one of us had a girlfriend who would call herself beautiful either. There was always someone else who won the title “Most Beautiful” when we looked into our own mirrors every morning and posed that lingering question in our own ways... “Who is the fairest of them all?”

Unfortunately, the struggle does not end when you graduate from high school, college, or become a “grown-up.” There’s always a mirror to look into. Always a girl to compare to.

In fact, it followed me into marriage.

We haven’t been married that long, but I have gained some weight in the past few months. So, my morning routine of looking into the mirror became a little more brutal than the mornings before. Surely, I can’t be considered as attractive to my husband as I did 6 months and 7 pounds lighter ago… To which the mirror seemed to whole-heartedly agree.

One night I broke and couldn’t deal with wondering anymore and I posed the question- not to the mirror, but to my husband. “Do you still think I’m beautiful?”

He looked into my eyes with surprise, and said “Why would you even ask? Of course.”

“Well I’ve gained some weight.”

“No you haven’t.”

“Yes, babe. I really have.”

“Oh- well one, I couldn’t tell. And two- it doesn’t and wouldn’t matter. You are beautiful.”

His response gave me the encouragement and courage I needed, and I began to tell him of all the doubts and fears swirling in my head of my body image and beauty.

 “Holly, what would you tell your youth girls or your friends? Do you think they truly are beautiful regardless of weight fluctuations or body changes?”

“Well, yes, of course!!”

He then pierced through my fears with this question.

“Then why can’t you believe it about yourself?”

I. don’t. know. But I should. I should.

So, for any woman of any age who has ever experienced this struggle, allow me to pose the same question to you that my sweet and loving husband posed to me.

“Why can’t you believe it about yourself?”  

God does.

Psalm 139:14-18 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,   I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts God!    How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.

 

Your husband does.

 

Your future husband will.

 

You are the beauty in the mirror. You are the fairest you that God could have possibly made.

So how about we stop asking the question to the mirror and start asking the question to the Lord. His answer is far different, far better, and absolute truth.