Some
of you might remember Cinderella
and Dating post that I wrote a ways back that a lot of you identified with….
Well, I’ve been thinking about Disney Princesses again (since we recently returned
from Disney), and I’ve been having conversations with oh-so-many teenage
girls…. And *poof* Ariel keeps popping into my head.
The
more I think about Ariel, the more I’m convinced that she’s the heroine for the
normal American teenage girl. She brings hope to the normal girls, the awkward
girls, the quirky girls, and possibly even deranged girls everywhere.
How?
2 reasons.
#1
Silent beauty- rrriiiiiiiggghhhttt!
According
to the story, they fell in love while Ariel was QUIET. In fact, a children’s
adaptation of the story, puts it like this:
“Charmed by her silent beauty, Prince Eric showed Ariel his kingdom.”
Anyone
else see the GLARING issue with this????
They
fell in love while she was silent?!?!
Even on an introvert’s
most quiet day, she still TALKS. She’s
n-e-v-e-r silent. And if she is, then any
guy who’s been around any girl for any length of time knows that when a
girl is silent, something is seriously wrong.
Like MAJORLY wrong.
Any
time I fall quiet, this will invariably happen within 10-30 minutes…
“Holly,
are you ok?”
“Yeah,
I’m fine. Why?”
“You’re
really quiet….”
“Yeah….well…..
ok, so here’s what happened….”
And
I then proceed to tell my husband what’s wrong.
It happens like that every- single- time. And I
KNOW that I’m not alone. Even if you girls deny it, let me ask the
brothers/fathers/boyfriends/husbands in your lives, and they’ll agree with me. Even
quiet girls aren’t silent!
But-
Most
girls, many normal teenage girls, fall quiet when they are around someone of
the opposite sex- regardless of whether they like the boy or not, it’s almost
natural to lose our voice. It’s not that we are trying to show off Ariel’s “silent
charm”, if anything that’s the last thing we want, but we simply don’t know
what to say. It’s like our brain and mouth lose the connection to each other! A
guy could say something, and we’ll be struck mute. Our girlfriend can say the
same sentence 2 hours later to us, and we will have the best response EVER.
(To
which we then fall back in our chair, sigh, and loudly proclaim “What is wrong with
me?!!? Why can’t I talk when there’s a guy around?!?!?!”)
So
my young friends, if that is you, take heart. You are not alone! Sometimes I think it’s God’s way of
protecting us from dating the wrong guy or just at the wrong time! ;)
It’s
totally acceptable that it’s not easy for you to talk to guys or flirt with
boys. You are normal- not weird! I
promise you- there will be a guy that comes along one day that makes it easy to
talk to him. That’s the guy that you want.
One
of my favorite things about Aaron is that early in our dating relationship, he asked
me lots of questions. He drew me out of my shell. He wanted to know the real me
that not everyone sees. And he still does. He still asks. And I love him for
it.
You’ll
find your own Prince that does the same for you- a man that helps you find those
words that you didn’t even know you had inside you.
#2 Cute hoarder- rrriiiiiiiggghhhttt!
It’s
time someone says it. Ariel is a hoarder. She collects and keeps gadgets, gizmos,
whosits, whatsits and thingamabobs. Look at her sea shelves FULL of objects. There
are some underlying issues there that no one else seems willing to address.
Here’s
the truth though- we all are like Ariel in some fashion. We have all collected and/or even hoarded
stuff. It may not be a physical as a
gizmo or whosits, but it’s just as noticeable. This relationship “baggage”
comes in all shapes and sizes… it can be as simple as refusing to go to bed
with the television on, to something as monotonous as loading
the dishwasher a certain way.
Or
it can be as complicated as unresolved pain from a past relationship; struggles
with parents that carryover into marriage; past abuse that influences future
trust…. The list of options goes on. Eternally.
This
unseen baggage is much more “consuming” than any amount of gadgets,
thingamabobs, and gizmos could ever occupy. Well… unless you are a legit
hoarder; if so, that’s you need to read a whole different blog book….
Bottom
line, Ariel couldn’t take her grotto of forks, beads, and random objects into
the castle and into her new life. It would just clutter up her new home, and she
discovered that there was already much of those objects there.
Our
relationship baggage is the same. When we carry it into our serious
relationships or marriage, it clutters up our new normal: our
relationship. I’m not saying that we can
just throw it away and pretend we never owned it…. If only it were that simple,
but it’s not. Relational baggage has to be dealt with- it must be unpacked,
sorted, and put in its rightful place: the past.
Like
Ariel, we’ll also find that our new home has its own set of “baggage” to deal
with. It’s not a bad thing- it’s a normal thing. As you build a life with
someone, you will work through unforeseen “stuff” with each other and you’ll
need to figure out the proper place for it. That’s part of relationships. Part
of marriage. Part of life.
Where are you at? Are you in the awkard stage? Maybe you're in the getting rid of the baggage stage? If you're married- any advice to give our younger sisters? Share your ideas below!
To my younger sisters- take heart:
No comments:
Post a Comment